CONJUNCTIONS: A Web Exclusive

Notebook A
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NOTES ON WAKEFULNESS AND BEING


Ellen Hinsey






{a.}

Origins



The body resists its knowledge of oneness—as if to exist it must renounce that from which it was issued.

As a child believes it must deny its origins in order to affirm its singular existence.

It is not possible to deviate from being.

Paradox of Logos
Language too is unable to grasp the fundamental essence of its nature.

Curiously, Nevertheless
Night's volute was upheld by the Vowel at the base of speech.

Paradoxical Given
Not all the ripe cognates of existence can be harvested from the garden of the world.




{b.}
Particularity



Inherently Problematic
To imagine an escape from being through a flight into particularity.

Addendum
To champion particularity is to always remain suspicious of one's true nature.

The Problem
What is particular is like Narcissus leaning over the water's reflection, eternally hoping, but never assuredly able to confirm, the existence of his singular beauty.

Beyond the Edge of the Garden
To imagine being hunted by manifestation, to be hounded by particularity—

Fortunate Parallels
The green flame of cypress, the hoarfrost of fern—the many-sided argument of the raspberry thicket.

Postulate
In order to fully experience being one must first make peace with the vanity of particularity.




{c.}
Cognition



Unexplainable Grief
To witness, at Autumn's end, the fallen walnut broken into its parts.

Hidden Grief
The brain's twin hemispheres halving continuity into discontinuity.

What Is Difficultly Visualized
Dualities that shelter behind them a unity beyond the possibility of cognitive formation.

Insights Beyond the Realm of Thought
Twilight-colored plums, fallen but luminous, hidden among the autumn grass.

Almost Observable by the Naked Eye
Being's armature holding up all that is starkly ephemeral.

Insight and Doubt
To experience, even once, the unexpected wakefulness of the world—pitted against the shadowy conceits of the mind.




{d.}
Assault



Enduring Condition
Wakefulness invites the Mind to gather with it in the burgeoning, always-renewing field.

Curious Auto-da-fé
In return, the Mind plots its eternal assault on being.

The Covert Habits of the Mind
Like bats winging through the shadowy, damp night orchard.

A Question of Methodology
To unthink the known in a gesture of sympathy with being.

Intuitive Postulate
Insight opens its reticent blossoms when the Mind waits under the same sky as Wakefulness.

Unfortunate Parallel
Human hair and blood—matted like dank manure and straw.




{e.}
Return



Goal of Difficult Attainment
To remain on the threshold of: particularity, oneness and language—to negotiate along the joints of the world.

Unattainable Ideal
Perfect Wakefulness like the moon ever-visible at midday.

Urgent Dilemma
To resolve how that which is both same and different can finally be called by its singular, Sacred name.

Return
Hence the implicit homecoming of metaphor: to reconcile what was arbitrarily broken, exiled in the mind.

Drawback
The Will listens in on all the manifestations of Wonder.

Wakefulness and Surprise
To listen along the joints­—for all that surprisingly joins.






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