CONJUNCTIONS: A Web Exclusive |
| Four Poems Brent Armendinger
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The Flight Cage After so many years of abbreviated sky, the new bird is cast from the bars of its former cage. What’s left of the aviary is the no longer boy, a soldier unable to exit a door he never entered. He drops off the kids, puffs out his little adopted cloud into Nevada. Some of it stays inside him, the hugely never of Nevada. The lattice between the species begins to curve. It coats his lungs. He begins his tour of duty, flicks on the computer, the only window in the operation room, eye of the new bird which has none. He sleeps with his own half open, holding the bird with his invisible string, as if the war were not unkind. The casualties— what is a casualty if not swallowed by its facelessness—the digital idea of death comes flapping across the water. The blood can be viewed from a satellite, the way that mourning spills immediately through the minus sign, through the semblance of a bowl. Castaways In the dream you have given me you’re standing on a raft in the middle of a lake— it’s not so hard to fall in love with you. You’re holding my latest X-ray, asking have I been sleeping okay? I know you think I’m one of them, they woke to slow erasures, but honestly I’m fine. Here I am, under my perpetual umbrella, raising a glass to how I’m lagging. The boys are breaking into foam again, as if their bodies were also your invention. Your instructions were easy enough to follow— you hid them at the bottom of the lake. This restlessness is a weather neither one of us can describe. If you look close enough, the opposite of desire begins to shiver. You’re holding it in your hands. The sky takes off its roundness and I’m swimming towards it and you’re not and I won’t when I belong. Dear Documentary, If I were to be blindfolded you could speak to me. To begin, press your head against a window. Erase the words I have written there with your hair and your saliva. I am waiting for it. How the rain regrets nothing, each window is a breath I offer you. A prayer is nobody else’s moon. A winged mournful braiding north or nothing in to want. The sky another word for elsewhere. The sun is doing some damage, said Leslie, but all doing comes back to zero. The people who live behind the newspapers don’t live there anymore. The light erases headlines from the sleep of those who sleep in their vocabulary. Did you ever live there, the people I wanted you to be? My friend the historian taught me your name but there was too much static on the telephone. Can I call you Palimpsest? I am your friend, my words are bent and illegible. The ghosts cross Balboa Street in clean diagonal lines. All wet things concede to gravity. See that lady adjusting her ponytail in the reflection of the bus shelter. That young man who walked around the block, I used to sell him groceries, and that woman is she his mother? And now the traffic gets in the way. Our faces fit so perfectly inside a square and the banners go floating up in yellow. The body’s four directions. The Bathers there is a concrete groove chewed into us. river. as if us were prior. sedimentary. I have put off my garment, how shall I put it on?1 pronoun as if a prehistoric. we might touch it by rolling down the window. the surface pins its name on each approaching gesture. and were not ashamed. land: a place to land. a channel for water to be water but less than flood. it steals the gray from scarp. color of emptiness. and grinds it. arrow to never the flora of traffic. particulates of ash. how like a confession. it shows the sky our daily hunger and our aimlessness. we believed our city a sad acknowledgment of water’s brevity. the muck of it. you were naked in the sight of all. the peril of being water under so much so soon. fire. more naked than gravity. we pulled it over our head. the stain of who was fledgling. as if we slipped into our body the moment it was occupied. the moment it was river. as if the precedent returned and thickened into somehow. fire reveals so little of its surroundings. for a while we wore it around our neck. and were not ashamed. more naked than the mind in us. could it be the least human part of us. how beauty lacks intention and this is why the body. you were naked. as if a kite floating somewhere above the mind. the doctrine of a well-considered life. for nothing perceivable was handed over to us.2 coiled arrows of craving. of river to be river. ground beneath the ground harbored the string of it. the weeds pushed through their bright. you were naked in the sight of all. their levitating streaks of anyway. inevitably. our hand went up and down. a kind of pulley. the red proof of desire. as if we stepped out of the body in us. which is always the color of lights in certain cities. the creature in us. for nothing perceivable was handed over to us.3 we pulled it over our head. a key attached to red elastic. stiff white towel. bottle of antiseptic. a sacrament. you were led to the holy pool. again and again. it leaves an indelible seal. it cannot be repeated say the fathers. but what of the myriad inside the fiction of skin. the envelope. those things, which were done by you in the inner chamber. total immersion of the myriad. each the other’s bishop. red weaverbird peeling off its feathers. an arrow to never the wrongness. our body was clothed in a color that could only be removed in sex. the ghost in us was multiplying. 1 Except where indicated, all quotes in italics are taken from Cyril of Jerusalem, “On the Mysteries of Baptism,” c. 350 AD. 2 St. John Chrysostom to Matthew, speech 82, 4, c. 390 AD. 3 Ibid. Brent Armendinger is the author of two chapbooks: Undetectable (Diagram/New Michigan Press) and Archipelago (Noemi Press). His work has recently appeared or is forthcoming in Bateau, Court Green, Denver Quarterly, LIT, Puerto del Sol, and Volt. Brent teaches at Pitzer College and lives in Los Angeles. □ |